Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Please don't give away my fajitas
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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