i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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