The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
