What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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