I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
