I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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