I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
