We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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