My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
