I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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