ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I want a musical about memes.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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