I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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