I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
