Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
