he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
