I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I know her cup size but not her name....
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
