Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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