I want to have your abortion
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
