Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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