Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
