So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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