I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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