just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
being pregnant is like rehab
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
