Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
