What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm at about main and main street
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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