wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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