He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
