I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
