hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
cat food counts as protein by the way
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
