don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
