saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
