I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize