the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
