i just wanna soil my oats bro
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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