he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
