i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
