Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
