In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Randomize
