I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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