I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
