if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
