There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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