Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
