Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
