barbara walters just said penis...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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