yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
