I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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