Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
