Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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