Umm I'm too high to move.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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