dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
