i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
