my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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