Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize