Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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