his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
