I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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