i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
